To self- develop you need to find what your comfortable with and what your willing to try. There is no pressure because not everyone right off the bat say I love bondage!, or I can't wait to go home and watch porn with my partner! things take time and trust; trust with the other person your with. If you aren't comfortable with something and you still allow someone to take sexual advances with you, then you are not sex positive; you need to stand up for yourself. Something that Rachel Rabbit wrote that I absolutely love and would love to see people using was the way to respond to someone who turns you down sexually; you say "Thanks for taking care of yourself " I believe it would lessen the blow to someone and not make them go around saying that the other person is a B**** or a slut because they wouldn't sleep with you.
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Sadly as many sex positive people there are out there, there are also sex positive feminists. These feminists believe that porn and bondage are the roots of rape and shaming women. this website says that porn goes against the thoughts that women should be safe and respected. The women and men who choose to get into the porn industry sign agreements, and know what they are getting into. They are being safe as well because everyone in the industry has to be tested on a regular basis, at least once a month as reported in this article by CNN. The porn industry became main stream in the 1980's and this is when sex positive feminists freaked. Robin Morgan ( a radical) said that " Pornography is the theory; rape is the practice" this came after she was quoted saying that "pornography was a central underpinning of patriarchy and a direct cause of violence against women".
There are plenty of studies that confirm that porn leads men to believe that they have a higher sexual power over women, and there are also studies that disagree. It is all up to you and how you see it. Whether your a sex positive or a sex positive feminist be something! here are a few things that I found that are interesting and or may give you a good laugh.
10 ridiculous anti- porn commercials
and I know you've heard of it, but did you know they hold one in Providence every year?
slut walk Providence
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